God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
