Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
