you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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