And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
