Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize