I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So squirting runs in the family.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I could fuck to npr.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
