she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
you never un-have a 4some
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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