i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
