I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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