butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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