We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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