u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
