I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
