I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
