Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
