oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
