All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
