She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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