she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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