i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize