but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
