butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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