ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so explain again why im purple
no
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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