Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
