he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
