Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
