he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
