Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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