You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
