you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
How's work?
Spinning.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
