Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
