think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
