in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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