You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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