okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
