she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
