What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
