I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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