my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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