So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
