That's intense
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
