I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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