My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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