Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
