how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize