i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"