Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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