This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The power of my boobs compel you