we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.