No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential