Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type