I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
