return my video game
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
