yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
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Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
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I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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