And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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