I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
