Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
