This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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