You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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