Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
