Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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