I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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