No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
