it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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