I will die if light touches me.
oh god the rape fog is back!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You pole danced in your parka.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
