I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
