I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
