Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.