my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
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She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
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I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."