Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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