Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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